If you demand respect before you will coach a particular gymnast or a whole class or from the whole team, psychologists have bad news for you.  Respect can not be demanded.  It can only be earned.  Fear and intimidation can be demanded from (imposed on) younger gymnasts, by adult, especially male coaches, but not respect. 

When They’ve Had Enough
 There comes a time in almost every gymnast’s life, especially good gymnasts, when they refuse to be intimidated.  This is a very imperfect teenage maturation (or preteen) process, that often is reflected by insolence, rebellion, challenging authority.  But also, in the case of a gymnast, it can easily be highlighted by leaving the sport when they have had enough of a coach who insists on treating them and coaching them by methods of fear and intimidation.

Welcome to America
 Everyone would like nice, pleasant obedient children, both as gymnasts and sons and daughters. There are TV shows, newspapers and books decrying the decline of such things in America and they are to some extent true.  The American culture is so wide open and our children are exposed to so many peer and media influences, other than just church and parents, that it is difficult to impossible (and virtually a full time job) to raise perfectly behaved children.  There are so many factors, many uncontrollable by parents and certainly uncontrollable by coaches, that this task becomes difficult.

Do You Want Respect or Winners?
 To limit yourself to only those gymnasts who meet some artificial standard of “respectful” behavior is to limit yourself to very few gymnasts, especially over the period of teenage years.  This problem is further aggravated by the new international raising of age limits for international competition, since it is no longer possible to compete gymnasts before they hit that stage in life. Worse, many of your best gymnastic talents are exactly the athletes who will be the most stubborn and rebellious.

You Don’t Have Time To Demand Respect
 You, as a coach with limited time, will always have to determine how much time you are going to devote to each aspect of training.  This is the essence of coaching in America, where you have difficulty in tearing athletes and parents away from other activities to spend the necessary hours in the gym.  There are few systems and situations in America where athletes of these ages are in a total training situation all day, every day.  Gymnastics in America is a part-time activity, to at least some degree.  If you choose to devote your time to “demanding respect:,” you will just naturally have less time to coach skill and techniques.  Get used to it and get over it.

Want Respect, Earn It
 The good news is that while demanding respect is a useless activity, Americans accord respect to those who deserve it as readily as anyone else.  Competent, talented coaching achieves respect of its own accord, especially when coaching and discipline are applied fairly, equitably and professionally.  Successful coaching and running of a gymnastics program is accorded the respect and admiration of the whole community when operated professionally.

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